Deeper Reflection
OFTENTIMES, THE REASON A PERSON GIVES FOR WANTING to divorce his or her spouse is: “I don’t love you anymore.” What that means is these romantic feelings are not there anymore. That’s not true love. It is actually “I don’t want to love you anymore” rather than “I don’t love you anymore”. True love is a commitment. It is not just emotional, but fundamentally volitional.Love exists in relationship. Love is relational in nature. Relationships can be difficult because people can be difficult. And so, to love is not easy – in all kinds of relationships, including marriage. The ideal hallmark of relationship in Christ is peaceful harmony: “the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (v.3). And what does it take for us to relate with others in peaceful harmony? It takes “all humility” (contrast: pride) – mark the words “all”, “gentleness” (contrast: harshness), “patience” (contrast: impatience) and “tolerance” (contrast: intolerance) (v.2). And we are to live out all these “in love” (contrast: unloving). These imply two realities. Relationship is not easy. And peaceful harmony is not smooth sailing relationship without conflicts.It is in the realm of relationship characterised by “love” that we “grow” to maturity (vv.13, 15-16). When we are in a situation in a relationship where inside us, we are bending toward pride, harshness, impatience and intolerance, it is the moment for us to grow and mature. And we grow in character, for humility, gentleness, patience and loving tolerance are traits of Christlike character. And character is developed, demonstrated and displayed in how we relate with all kinds of people in love.