Deeper Reflection
OFTENTIMES, THE REASON A PERSON GIVES FOR WANTING
to divorce his or her spouse is: “I don’t love you anymore.” What that
means is these romantic feelings are not there anymore. That’s not true
love. It is actually “I don’t want to love you anymore” rather than “I don’t
love you anymore”. True love is a commitment. It is not just emotional,
but fundamentally volitional.Love exists in relationship. Love is relational in nature. Relationships can
be difficult because people can be difficult. And so, to love is not easy –
in all kinds of relationships, including marriage. The ideal hallmark of
relationship in Christ is peaceful harmony: “the unity of the Spirit in the
bond of peace” (v.3). And what does it take for us to relate with others
in peaceful harmony? It takes “all humility” (contrast: pride) – mark the
words “all”, “gentleness” (contrast: harshness), “patience” (contrast:
impatience) and “tolerance” (contrast: intolerance) (v.2). And we are to
live out all these “in love” (contrast: unloving). These imply two realities.
Relationship is not easy. And peaceful harmony is not smooth sailing
relationship without conflicts.It is in the realm of relationship characterised by “love” that we “grow”
to maturity (vv.13, 15-16). When we are in a situation in a relationship
where inside us, we are bending toward pride, harshness, impatience and
intolerance, it is the moment for us to grow and mature. And we grow in
character, for humility, gentleness, patience and loving tolerance are traits
of Christlike character. And character is developed, demonstrated and
displayed in how we relate with all kinds of people in love.