Deeper Reflection
DISCIPLEMAKING IS SPIRITUAL PARENTING. IN BUILDING the faith of the Thessalonians, Paul did so “like a mother feeding and caring for her own children” (v.7, NLT) and “like a father with his children”, exhorting, encouraging and urging them in their walk with God (vv.11-12).There is no need to deduce from the two metaphors that Paul uses, that he is laying down a stereotype of sexual roles in the home: the mother feeding and the father teaching their children.¹⁴ In instructing fathers to “bring them [children] up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4), Paul is not saying that this is solely the father’s role and not the mother’s – a way which we tend to take. Even in the patriarchal culture in Old Testament times, the call of wisdom is, “My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching” (Prov 1:8). It is not healthy nor helpful in parenting to draw such clear lines regarding the father’s and mother’s roles. In parenting our children, it is wholesome that fathering and mothering are done in combining both the father’s and mother’s roles, and to do so in partnership as a team. I have observed over the years that many parents are not on the same page in parenting. And this results in conflicts between husband and wife, confusion for the children and division in the family. Parenting ought to be grounded on the foundational “one flesh” commitment of husband and wife (Gen 2:24). 

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¹⁴ John R. W. Stott, 54